“i love myself.' the quietest. simplest. most powerful. revolution. ever.” ― Nayyirah Waheed
How many times have you stayed in unhealthy relationships you knew were no good for you? How many times have you stayed in abusive relationships (either physical, verbal, or both) because they cry to you in remorse and promise to never do it again? They promise you the world and everything in it, but are out there creeping, lying, being disloyal, and sneaky? We accept the love we believe we deserve and until we believe that we deserve more we will always settle for less.
"The most important relationship we will ever have in our life is with our own selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship." - Madisyn Taylor
You are not someone's punching bag or door mat. The love you give should be reciprocated. If you find that you are constantly getting involved with the same type of person then you need to do a self assessment and ask yourself why? Why are you allowing the same type of people into your life? Why are you allowing the deceit and the dishonesty? You cannot love someone more than you love yourself and expect to be in a healthy relationship. Sometimes we don't know how to love ourselves because self-love like self-esteem is instilled and it starts in childhood. If you weren't shown love or if no one ever taught you how to value yourself first then you will spend the rest of your life believing that you aren't good enough. You will spend your life seeking that which you have failed to give yourself.
If you do not know how to love yourself then you have to learn. How do you do that? Well, you start by putting your needs first. You focus on spending time with yourself, rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. You start by saying NO to others and YES to yourself. You do the things that make you happy and speak to your soul. Take yourself out on dates. Do the things that you love. Learn to enjoy being in your own company. Wine and dine yourself. When you begin to treat yourself well it becomes more difficult to accept anything less from others. When we start putting our own physical, spiritual, and emotional well being first, that's when anything less than what we are giving ourselves becomes unacceptable. You have to be the love you desire. Remember not everyone is worthy of your love. Choose wisely.